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Yo Momma Jokes

Yo momma so fat…

• Yo momma so fat when she wears red she looks like the Kool-Aid Man.
• Yo momma so fat when she sits around, she sits around.
• Yo momma so fat when God said let there be light God told yo momma to move her fat ass.
• Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcom X T-Shirt hellicopters try landing on her.
• Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
• Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
• Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
• Yo momma so fat were in her right now.
• Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.
• Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
• Yo momma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
• Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Portugal claimed her for the new world
• Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
• Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
• Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
• Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
• Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
• Yo momma so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
• Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
• Yo momma so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
• Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
• Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
• Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
• Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
• Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
• Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
• Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn’t cover her
• Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
• Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
• Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was when she was looking down at the scale.
• Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.
• Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
• Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
• Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn’t have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
• Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
• Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
• Yo momma so fat she’s got her own area code!
• Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
• Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
• Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
• Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get to her good side!
• Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
• Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington’s nose.

Yo momma so stupid…

• Yo momma so stupid that she brought a cup to the movie juice.
• Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
• Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
• Yo momma so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
• Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
• Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
• Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
• Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl
• Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!
• Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
• Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
• Yo momma so stupid she got run over by a parked car.
• Yo momma so stupid she sold her car to buy brand new tires.
• Yo momma is so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.

Yo momma so ugly…

• Yo momma so ugly her parents had to tie a porkchop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
• Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
• Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
• Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let’s go bury it."
• Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
• Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
• Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
• Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
• Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
• Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
• Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
• Yo momma so ugly she could make an onion cry.
• Yo momma so ugly when she was born the doctor just slapped her parents.

Yo momma so old…

• Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
• Yo momma so old she has Jesus’ beeper number!
• Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
• Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch.
• Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
• Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
• Yo momma so old she’s in Jesus’s yearbook!
• Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
• Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
• Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
• Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
• Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

Yo momma so poor…

• Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
• Yo momma so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!
• Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
• Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!!!
• Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
• Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
• Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
• Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
• Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin’?" She said, "Buying luggage."
• Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
• Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
• Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
• Yo momma so poor you go out for Sunday pushes of the skateboard  

Miscelaneous Yo momma… Jokes

• Yo momma’s underwear is so full of holes that when she farts they whistle.
• Yo momma has so much dandruff, the lice have to wear snow boots.
• Yo momma’s glasses are so thick that when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her.
• Yo momma pits are so hairy it looks like she has Don King in a head lock.
• Your momma so fat and stupid her waist is bigger than her I.Q.